Hello. I just lost my very first guy friend, and that is Alif Asyraff bin Othman. Till now, idk how to spell this name, Asyraf. I always thought whether its just one 'F' or two 'F' :/ but anyhow, from the day we met till now, i think he's just a friend to me. haish. i wish he was as before. even bestfriends change, not just our love ones huh. from the day we met from secondary one orientation, i keep saying to dahliah that i've seen you before at madrasah. we were once same class for madrasah. but then, during the making of hearts with straws last year, we then got to know each other better. you sat just behind me. and i have a tendacy to look band just to look at you. we got to know each other better by exchanging number from idk who. O.o you told me about your intrests in music and intruments and i told mine. later then, you a crush on me and i had the same feeling as you. just that we didnt tell each other. then, a jerk came alone, juhairi. i was fucking stupid that i chose him when i know you're one loving sweet guy. maybe i know juhairi more than you since me and him were in the same primary school. but then, i fell for his sweet talks. _|_ and i remembered how he ask me to stay away from you. we got to be the chair and vice chair for the class. and i can say we work pretty well together. until you decided to be a sportleader. thats the time when i start to feel like crying. from there on, i think you've no feelings from me. so juhairi took over you as a chairman because i think you got some attitude problem in class. such as sleeping. then, we got closer day by day. we joined the same CCA. you told me your screts and i tell mine. we go back home together until the bus stop after we are done with our class painting last year. remember the time you always wanna use my specs? my white geeky specs? :) yeaa~ until in the middle of the year, you found someone you love, and that is Sarina. You got to be with her, but before that i got Kamarul. our monthsary are just few days after to be compared. then, we always ask each other how month have we both be with our lover. and we got mix up but actually, you're on the same love track as me. everyday during class, i will come by and sit beside you when theres lesson time and we talk alot. we even sang the song memories of friendship and die fledermaus. we were sooooooooooo into them untiil we kept singing it everyday. when i start to sing it, you come along. so cute. afterwards, you met your brothers. yep, you got influence by them. but then i have accepted how you are already. you started smoking. and then a fight got between us. about the smoking thingy. days after tht, i sent you a orange sorry letter card saying, " SORRY! :( im sorry for what i've done to you. you're my first guy bestfriend. hope you will forgive me" the next day, we had CIP at sembahwang beach. so we lined up while switch of the lights and i remembered how to tegur me saying oi at me, and i smile widely and shouted your name. :) i was fucking happy. then, i realise i couldn't loose a friend like you. until one day you got confuse between sarina and syahindah. thts why everything seem wrong about you. but then, you've choose syahindah. im happy for you to be witih her as long as you stick to one. but then, you've change to the worst. you've getting more lazy, disrespectful, no pride, no ownership, integrity or whatsoever. you're confuse which prioty comes first. i told myself, i dont wanna fight with you like before and i try my best to swallow whatever mistakes you did. because i dont wanna loose you alif. but then, its comes to an end when you're too much. thts when i just got to make a move. i scold you at S28 wall and you said let me say i got to say so tht you will realise it. but did you alif? did ou realise? :( you think once, not twice. to you, syahindah is all it matters. where the old alif i love so much. i just cannot emphasise more on how great and awesome you are as my very first uy bestfriend. i dont wanna find a second. because only you can make me feel this way. not even syafiq or adam or sufi. just you. you disturb me for no reason. you make silly lame jokes that gives me a blur sotong face on my face. and you love to punch me, and punch you back. i just want to be with you. i want to spent my days with you as before. no matter how hard i try to ignore you, i just cant. i just pity you alif. :( i just do. because i care too much for you, and somehow i cannot let you be in thiskind of state for long. really. :/ you're a great guy that has change to the worse. please change. i gave up on you. really i do. because whatever im saying to you are just shits. you read it, and thts it. we've gone thourhg crazy wild rides together. especially the damn lame silly joke. please come back to some sense friend, because i sill love and care for you. <3 :(
