32: Freedom

today night is fucking sad night for me. syahindah and syafiq texted me about the same thing. :/ well, just start for syafiq. he texted me about kamarul. he still dosent know about me and him are together. but i know i can trust him. :) he's a good friend. nothing so much about me texting me. and now, syahindah. she texted me about the same thing too. and she said, dahliah told her about me and kamarul. and then i think back, since when she knows about my problem with kamarul? i didnt even tell her single thing. the only thing i told her pun is when she ask me qns about kamarul. eg, " kau dgn kamarul tk gi skola samesame? " and stuffs liddat. syahindah texted me this:

" Riyadha! ): kau okay tak itik! haiish, babi (dahliah) explain kat aku semue, it seems harsh but what ever it is, kau and kamarul kene move on and let people say whtever they want tau. :> tkmo dgr! follow what your heart say cos your heart know you best babe! <3 sayang kau, itik! Take care! ....... "

the dotdotdot, no imprtang. so yeah, i was curious when she text me tht. and dahliah, she dont even know a single thing about my problem. wtf. what she say can just be fake and can just spread to anybody. dienye orang tk blh tutop mulut. haishhh. tsk, i got really fuck up with her. i dunno why she must talk something tht she dosent know A THING. hmmm, andi didnt even tell anybody ab out my problem. so how can she know? kau super powers eh? -.-" and by you saying ' Riyadha sucks ' dosent make you any better. tht just show tht you are jealous about something about me. and being jealous just shows tht the person is better than you are. :> yea, so get the facts and meaning on whtever you do to me right before making me hurt dahliah. dont just pin-point on people when you yourself do the same thing. " psssssssssssssst, " and she said, " diam la! org ade name kan?" and i argue back with her. when she herself did the same to zul, and can still say, " tu dulu, ni skrg. " jawapan tkde lagi bagus ke? -.- bukannye aku panggil kau pun, aku tgh panggil syafiq. pfst. ape la nasib aku ade kawan mcm die. sikitsikit baik, sikitsikit tk. :/ you hurt me so much and i dont dare to just fight back with you. you kick me, slap me, punch me and verbally saying things to me right in the face which is not nice. you dare to do anything at me, but me? bcos imma person who gives and take. im a person who is scared tht i got no left to be with. been suffering since last year and i can say tht you're not really a good bestfriend. when you are in need, you come to me. when you needed money, you come to me. when you need some company, you come to me. when you want to see zul, you ask me to follow you. you took my food and eat it just liddat without my permission. you just take my drink and drink it. and im not just saying you drink a little. you drink ALOT. you think tht whetever you do is just for the best for you, but wht about others. :'/ i dont feel like going to sch tomorrw and see faces whom o fucking hate. FML. _|_ i know im being use by just a girl. so my qns to my boyfriend now, now then you know why i dont want to tell her about us? and now then you know why we can only trust alif and syahindah. because i got syahindah. she's always there for me.

who can i rely on now? even if i had such great friends like syahindah, i dont even think i can rely on her. she herself got problem with alif here and there. balqis? who is she to me now. dahliah? orang yg suke lupekan kwn bile dgn matair and bestfriend yg suke sakitkan hati bestfriend sendiri. wow, such great bestfriend eh. :) -.- i got nobody. even if i got a boyfriend, who can i go to when we're fighting and my bestfriends are like tht? well, atleast i can only count on syahindah. <3 and atleast i got my blog to express all my feelings with.